White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize