my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
