i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
