I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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