my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
