Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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