when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
