Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize