I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
