in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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