saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
