It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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