I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Houston, we have a squirter
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
