How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize