YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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