Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
