you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Girls should come with a carfax report
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
