if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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