they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
