she was so not down for the gang bang
i was born a porn star she said
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
