you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
third nipple confirmed
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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