went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize