need another drink. this is the easiest way
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
