I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
