i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
