Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
