escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
