new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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