Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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