well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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