Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
