you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
