This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
