FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
