You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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