I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
