I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
