You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
