Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
