you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
