i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
