OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
