Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
