u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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