He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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