I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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