It's Friday. Sex?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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