You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
