you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i believe in u and ur pee
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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