check it out our google latitudes are spooning
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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