if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
