Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
