I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
