Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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