I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize