He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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