Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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