I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
