If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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