hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
