I faked an abortion last night.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
